Posts Tagged ‘obsession’

Realization

March 31, 2010

Quick mid-day thought:

I think about food a lot.  Like, I’ve had to actually stop myself from going up to our front desk and getting some fuckin’ Easter candy.  Three times.  At least.  I have this urge, and I can practically feel myself getting up from my desk, walking up there, and pouring some of those damn Hershey eggs into my palm, then popping them in to my mouth.  I can feel the crack of the hard candy shell, then feel the chocolate melting on my tongue.   

I think the fact that I can see, and practically feel, this happening so vividly probably helps explain why I struggle with junk food so much.  If it isn’t around, I don’t think about it.  I may have a fleeting “mmm, chocolate would taste good” type thought, but it isn’t obsessive like it is when I know those  Hershey eggs are a 20 second walk away. 

I have to wonder why this is.  Why I can’t seem to get the thought out of my head.  And it’s not like if I go up there and pop a couple candy eggs into my mouth, that these thoughts would go away.  They’ll still be there (I could have MORE!) and they’ll be even stronger (They were so good just a minute ago!).

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