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I found my running mojo.

July 21, 2010

It was right there the whole time.  Hiding in a pile of clean laundry, made up of mostly workout clothes.  Who knew?

So I picked it up, put it on (along with my workout clothes!) and picked a goal race for this fall.  I’m training again.  This time for a half marathon in Columbus, Ohio.  Eek!  I’ve been running more consistently now for a couple weeks, and I feel good.  A gal I work with moved in to my neighborhood, so we’ve been meeting each other to run a couple mornings before work (5:15 am, baby!  Best hours of the day, as my Grandad would say!).  That’s been nice, and kept me off my treadmill.  She hurt her knee this weekend, so this week I’m on my own.  I ran yesterday morning and plan to do it again tomorrow and Friday.  Then this weekend I”ll get in my long run (7 miles!) and another short run. 

Ideally.  😀 

My weight has kind of plateaued.  It’s not a mystery as to why.  I’ve not been logging my food, and I’ve been eating cookies like they are the last ones on earth.  So yeah.  I’ll be needing to change that.  Y’all may know about my tummy trials and tribulations, and I can tell you that the answer is not cookies.  I’m highly suspicious that the culprit is actually gluten, but I’m in denial about what that would mean.  So I’m not sure where I’m at on that.  I feel like a 3 year old, all “I don’t wanna!” when it comes to potentially cutting out the best food in the world.  Bread.  Which manifests itself into the best meals ever.  Sammiches.  Pizza.  Pasta.  FRICK.

Briefly last week, I attempted an elimination diet, where you basically eat nothing but chicken, turkey, lamb (who the hell eats lamb?), and potatoes.  And some fruit.  I lasted about 2 days.  I wore my cranky-pants the entire time.  In theory, the idea was that I’d do this for two weeks (HA!) and then start adding foods back in to see what it is that makes me feel like royal crapola all the time.  But apparently I was not motivated enough, because I did not stick with it.  The allure of a PB&J was too strong. 

So this week, I’ve bounced back down to my lowest weight in years, and I’m logging my points every day.  Yesterday that involved pizza and wine, but hey, that is what you get activity points and weekly points for!

Mixed results

June 4, 2010

So, it’s been a weird few weeks.  Vacation, a lack of motivation, and a family emergency have all added up to very little running lately.  I got back on track, beginning with a run this morning, but I’m worried I’ve lost a little fitness.

This is a weird time for me.  The family emergency I referenced was about my little brother.  He’s 29, and he had a heart attack.  He very nearly died.  The survival rate for what happened to him is 5%.  FIVE PERCENT.  One of the reasons he survived is because he’s young, fit, and healthy.  I told him that all his running had paid off!  🙂  But this is something in the back of my head now, knowing that being in shape probably helped keep him alive.  There isn’t really any better motivation than that.

I have lost like 4 lbs in the last week, but not the good way.  I’m generally a stress eater, but this was too much for even me.  Food wasn’t a priority, and I really felt like puking most of the week.  I was physically sick with worry, and fear.

Take this chance to tell the people you love that you love them.  It’s crazy how fast it can change, and I feel so lucky that I get to keep my brother.

Holding Steady = WIN

May 25, 2010

In a race to get to the weight loss finish line, sometimes there are pit stops.  I equate this to running a half-marathon (or a full, but since I’ve never done one of those, I hate to equate to it!).  I rush off at the start, fueled by excitement, go out fast, and do really well for a while.  Then I have tummy troubles and have to make a pit stop (“Holy hell, where are the porta potties?” is a thought I often have during a race).  I make my pit stop, feel much better, and then go out again all gung-ho (Novia, notice how I didn’t say “gang-busters” here!).  Then, at some point, I start to slow down.  I start to wish it was just fucking finished already.  Miles 8-11 seem like they take forever, and like I’m making exactly ZERO progress.  Eventually, I do get to the finish line, often with some walking, and always with some internal swearing. 

That experience is much like the whole weight loss one.  When I started this process, now six or seven years ago (WHAT? How did this happen?), I was all gung-ho.  I lost 80 lbs.  In a little over a year.  GO ME.  Then I tapered off, held steady, fluctuated a bit, and made some pit stops (gained back about 10 lbs, staying steady with no loss).  Now, I’m in that mile 8-11 zone, where I feel like I’m not going anywhere, and not accomplishing anything, and like I’ll never in a million years get to the finish line, which is my goal weight of 160. 

However, if I step back, and look at this like I can look back on my half marathons, I will see that I am making progress.  Slow and steady wins the race finishes the race.  And really, finishing is the only goal.  It doesn’t matter how fast I get there, aside from my constant lack of patience with myself.  And much like running the half marathon, it doesn’t do me any good to berate myself along the way for the variety of errors I’ve made (going out too fast, not training hard enough, having ice cream, or enjoying several fruity drinks while on vacation).  So I’m not going to do it – not in the weight loss race, nor in my running races. 

All of this to say that I held steady over the last two weeks.  And instead of beating myself up for the things I didn’t do right (drinks, too many cookies, too little exercise) I’m just going to be proud of the fact that I stayed the same in spite of those things.  Especially the five days I spent in Mexico, eating whatever they had at the buffet (all-inclusive), eating french fries in the middle of the afternoon, and drinking more alcohol than I normally do in months.  Plus, before we left, there was a cookie-related incident at my house.  I made a shit-ton of cookies that were really fucking good, and ate a lot of them.  So yeah.  Holding stead = WIN this week.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack.

May 12, 2010

That’s right.  I’m back.  Not only to my blog, but to Insanity! 

Our Recovery Week became a Recovery Three Weeks, and we just started back.  I think both of us thought the Month 2 stuff was a bit much, so we’ve gone back to Month 1.  We did it on Monday, and plan to do it again tonight.  I also ran both days.  Monday was a kick ass speed day.  I did ladders, starting out at my normal pace (5.4) and I increased it .1 mph every 30 seconds, until I couldn’t hang on anymore.  Then I jogged for 5 minutes, then I did it again.  Woohoo!  My friend is helping me out with some speed workouts, and this was his suggestion.  He thinks I already have it in me to run much faster, and he is just helping me find my speed and get it out there. 

We’ll see.  😀 

The fun news in my life:  We leave for Cozumel on Monday!  We’ll be there for five days, and I CANNOT WAIT.  I’m so frickin stoked it’s not even funny.  We went shopping for summer clothes and bathing suits this weekend, since all of our stuff is too big.  DH went down 2 full pant sizes, that fucker.  I only went down 1 size.  (I’m kidding, I’m so proud of him!)  I got the FUNNEST (yes, that is a word) dresses to wear.  I wanted to wear one of them to work this week, but it’s fucking snowing here.  On May 12th.  Lovely.  This only makes me look forward to my beach vacation even more. 

I’m down a bit more from the last time I posted (I think).  I’ve lost about 12 lbs since January, which I know isn’t exactly blazing fast, but it’s movement in the right direction, so I’ll take it. 

Have you all been watching Biggest Loser?  I watched the makeover show last night (thank God for DVR) and HOLEE SHITBALLS, those folks look great.  It’s amazing.  It was a good reminder to myself of what it felt like to be able to shop in a regular store (thanks, but no thanks Lane Bryant, I hope to never need you again), and prompted me to look at my before pics (from YEARS ago, before I dropped 70 lbs, I’m now working on another 20 or so).  Big difference.  I don’t even remember what it felt like to be that big.  And sometimes I don’t think I look any different, because from my perspective, I was just me the entire time.  Lately people have been saying things like “Oh, your hair is getting longer!” or “You look great!” or “Have you lost weight?” or “Is that a new dress?” to me.  Some of those are directly addressing the fact that I look smaller, and the others are (in my experience) people’s way of saying they have noticed something different, but they are not sure what it is.  Regardless, it’s nice to hear.

Checking in… it’s been a while

May 3, 2010

I know, I know.

I went to Derby (KY) and lots of fun was had.  I ran half of a half.  😀  It was my longest run in months.  I had tummy troubles (shocker, I know) but once I got past them, I was in good shape.  I had an absolute blast with my imaginary friends.  We drank wine, had a fuckerware party, and did some running.  Life is good.

I’m frustrated with myself right now.  I’m eating like shit, and not exercising.  It’s a cycle that is hard to bust out of sometimes.  DH and I have slacked off on Insanity, but we have pledged to pick it back up tomorrow.  I think for now we are going to do the Month 1 workouts most of the time because 40 minutes of that shit is plenty.  Plus, we are both going to work on going harder during the intervals, and one of my goals is to do REAL pushups, not the girly ones.

This weekend was a wedding back home in Kansas, and I didn’t do great eating.  I had soft serve ice cream this morning for breakfast at Golden Corral, if that tells you anything.  We leave for Mexico in 2 weeks, and while I’m nowhere near my goal, I am down 12 lbs from the middle of January.  So that is good.  DH and I are going to work on eating cleaner and within points for the next two weeks, along with our workouts.  I’m also vowing to RUN 4 times this week.  4-5 miles each time.  I teach Spin twice this week as well.  Should be a good productive workout week.  It will feel good to get back in the swing of things.

I’ve started feeling an itch to “train” for something, but I suspect that is driven from my self-frustration right now.  I did some searching on fall races, and I will probably sign up for something at some point.  But for now, I am promising myself I will just be consistent.  I may do some 5K or 10Ks, just for fun, if my schedule allows for it.  There is actually a 9K race this weekend (Sunday) that I may do.  I need to decide, because it often fills up.

Goals this week:

  1. Run 4 times this week.  At least 18 miles.  Including MONDAY.
  2. 4 Insanity Workouts.
  3. 2 Spin classes (this is kind of a gimmee, I don’t have an option on these!)
  4. LOG my points every day.  Seriously.
  5. Blog several times.

A’ight.  That’s it.  For now.  I’m outie.

Hells to the yeah – or a tale of 3 victories

April 20, 2010

So this morning when I weighed in, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I really didn’t think I’d see a loss, since I definitely overdid it on the Turtle Cookies this weekend.  I’d seen a variety of numbers all week long.  I saw a nearly two pound variation yesterday from before my run & Insanity workout, to afterwards.  (I know that just means I sweat an assload.)

But I got on the scale anyway (victory #1), and saw a number that I wasn’t sure what to do with.  Amazingly, I had forgotten what my weigh in number was last week, so I didn’t know if I had lost or maintained.  I was pretty sure I hadn’t gained (victory #2).  So I hopped off the scale, got in the shower, and was pondering wtf my last weigh in number was, and wtf I couldn’t remember it.  I got out, got dressed, and went scurrying out to my laptop to record my number for today. 

Lo and behold, that number was a whole pound DOWN from last Tuesday (victory #3, if you’ve been counting).  BOO-YA! 

Part of the confusion came from me seeing numbers up to 2 lbs lower than this all week long.  Which I am hoping will mean that I’ll see a loss next week as well, if I can stay on track.  I gave the rest of those Turtle cookies away today at work, so that won’t be a problem. 

Today’s problem is that I went to the dentist and got my teef cleaned.  Now my mouf hurts.  It sucks.  I’m hungry, but I only want to eat soft food.  And oddly, the only two things I can think of are ice cream and pizza.  Two quality weight loss oriented foods.  Excellent.  ::insertsarcasticsmileyhere::

Tonight will bring another date with my hot buddy, Shawn T.  While we do the 50 minute torture session, I’ll sweat my ass off yet again.  After that, I will fix something for dinner.  Something soft and smooshy.

More Insanity

April 20, 2010

Jeebus.  Are you kidding me, Shawn T?  Squat pushups, power jumps, power pushups, or some crap.  Some of it I can’t even really do, since I can’t really do a pushup.  Holy crapinoly. 

But prior to the Insanity workout, I ran.  Woot.  Outside.  It’s so nice to be able to run outside.  I love it.  Me, my music, a dirt road, and my gps.  4 miles! 

I weigh in tomorrow.  Hopefully I didn’t do too much damage the last two days with the damn mock turtle cookies I made.  They are dangerously good.  I need to give the rest of those fuckers away.  Aside from them, I’ve done really well food wise this week.  I saw a new low number this week, so I hope it sticks 🙂 

In three days I go to Louisville – WOOT!  I cannot wait.  It’s going to be a weekend filled with fun, running, fuckerware, and wine.  Does it get any better than that?  I even bought this to make food for the fuckerware party:

We are going to Deck the Dicks.  It’s going to be fabulous.

Month 2 of Insanity

April 18, 2010

Holy balls.  We did our first workout of Month 2.  Dear God.  Not only is it longer (60 min or so) but it’s harder.  I mean, I didn’t think there was really any way to make it harder, but it turns out that Shawn T managed to do just that. 

I taught Spin this morning.  We did a 60 minute interval ride, and it was tough.  Then I came home and did the Max Interval It Would Feel Better If You Just Died Workout.  So I’m BEAT.  Tomorrow I get to do it all again, except it will be a run, then Insanity.  Good times.  I’d be flabbergasted if I’m not sore in weird spots tomorrow. 

Oh, I lost a half pound this past Tuesday.  So yay!  I’m down a bit more already, so if I can stick it out thru the weekend, I should see a good loss on Tuesday this week.

The results are in

April 13, 2010

I didn’t do the long run.  I just didn’t wanna.  Terrible, I’m sure.  However, I’ve had kind of an epiphany around running lately.  I’m done “training” for a while.  I want to run because I want to, not because I have to.  I’ve been feeling this way for a while, and now that I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m not running my half in two weeks, it’s kind of freeing.  I want to run because it’s fun, and for exercise.  Not so I can do a race. 

I know this won’t last indefinitely.  I’ll start to feel the pull of a race sooner or later, but for now, I just want to go back to running.  Just running.  I’d like to do some local races for fun, and to be part of the running community.  These will be 5K or 10K races.  Short, easy, no pressure.  Ideally, I’ll work on running faster during this time, but I’m really not going to worry about it.  I’ve been dreading the long runs for longer than I can remember.  And quite frankly, that isn’t how I want it to be.  So until that feeling goes away, I want to go out and run 3-5 miles several times a week, with a “long run” of up to 7 or 8 on the weekends.  And if I don’t feel like that long of a run, I’ll give myself permission to just do another 3-5 miler.  It’s not like I’m on the cusp of a BQ, or training for the Olympics, FFS.  I run because it feels good, it’s great for my mental health, and it makes me feel kind of awesome to say I’m a runner. 

So this is what I’m going to do.  For now.  Until I change my mind again.  Which could be in 4 days, or 4 months.  Or longer. 

I weigh in tomorrow morning.  My hubby lost another 3 lbs this week (I’m so proud of him!).  I don’t expect any results like that.  I’ve weighed in all week, and I’ve been consistently down a little bit from last Tuesday.  So we’ll see.  After a big week (for me) last week, I don’t expect another one like that.  It never works that way for me!  I did ask my DH to help me to be more accountable in logging my food.  I start out going gang-bangers each week (is that phrase right?  It seems weird when I write it out.) and by Friday and Saturday, I’m not being consistent with logging.  By Monday I’m like “Well, I weigh in tomorrow, so why bother today?”  Not helping!!  DH agreed to help me be accountable, if I promised not to get mad at him when he asks me “Did you log that peanut butter you are shoveling in your pie hole?”  😀  I pointed out that he could attempt to be tactful, but that isn’t really his MO…  so this could be interesting!  🙂

Oh, and for those of you waiting on bated breath to find out what the recovery week of the Insanity workouts are like…  well they are not too bad.  Nice and easy pace.  The workout is 40 min long, and has some of the same stuff (at a slower pace) as the first month, and some new stuff.  I’m kind of nervously looking forward to starting the second month.  Eek!

Ladies, place your bets

April 9, 2010

On how far I make it in my long run on Sunday.  I’m going to gallowalk it, and see if I can do 10 miles.  If I can do it and don’t want to cut my legs off afterwards, I’ll gallowalk the Derby race.  If not, then I’ll just spectate. 

I ran this morning.  Go me.  Tonight is Day 1 of the Recovery Week in Insanity.  I’ll let you know what Shawn T’s idea of Recovery looks like later. 

Last night was Spin class.  Surprisingly I had 5 people.  I was expecting ZERO since it was 70* and gorgeous outside.  We did an ass-kicking workout consisting of some long periods of climbing, with some high intensity flats.  It was GOOD.  I teach again tomorrow morning, and I can’t decide what to unleash on them.  But I know they will be sweaty mofos when they are done!

If I don’t get to the godforsaken grocery store tonight, we are going to be eating canned tomatoes and ramen noodles all weekend.  We are out of everything.  Bread.  Eggs.  String cheese.  Fruit.  Granola bars.  Chicken.  Seriously.  WTF?